Ray leaned over, hands on his knees, let his head hang between his shoulders and tried to breathe. Only they weren't his hands, weren't his knees, and somewhere over to his left, where he definitely was not looking, he could hear Kowalski pacing, and that was fucking weird enough, hearing Kowalski's twitchy movements marked by Ray's own shoes, Ray's own feet. This was not right. He'd worked with Fraser for years and he'd seen compulsive liars and pissy Christmas elves and his own father's ghost, and Kowalski had told him about that funky voodoo thing, but this... he'd never seen anything like this.
"Fraser, you ever seen anything like this before?" Kowalski asked, only it was in Ray's voice, and God, if Ray didn't stop thinking about this, he was going to go insane.
"No, Ray," Fraser answered, sounding sort of calmly concerned, like this was any other problem he was going to solve with Inuit stories and sheer Mountie stubbornness. Which Ray normally kind of wanted to kick him for, because nothing fazed Fraser--not even, apparently, his partners somehow ending up in each other's bodies and not in the good way--but somebody had to be calm, Ray guessed, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be him or Kowalski, so.
"This is not good," Kowalski was saying, "this is not good. I mean, what the fuck? How the fuck does this happen?"
"Ray, please. I know how upsetting this must be for you, but I'm sure there's a solution somewhere, and we will find it. And in the meantime, just--"
"Just what? Calm down? Fraser, I am not in my own fucking body, and I would say that on the list of situations in which it is physically possible to calm down, that has got to be pretty fucking low!" The last word was punctuated by a thud as his fist hit the wall.
"Hey!" Ray's head snapped up. "That's my knuckles you're putting through the drywall, asshole."
"Sorry," Kowalski muttered, massaging his hand in a mix of post-punching-ache and caress, and Ray almost started laughing hysterically. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. This was going to drive him nuts, he knew it.
Fraser's hand came down on the back of his neck, thumb rubbing gently just underneath his ear, just like they both knew Kowalski liked. Ray could feel his muscles relaxing a little, and that was more strangeness, more dislocation, until Fraser said, "Ray," and he said it like he always said it, completely different than how he said Kowalski's name, and Ray took a deep breath and held on.
"I'm OK, Benny. I'm OK. It's just--" I can't not be me, can't look in the mirror and see someone else...
"I know," Fraser said, and it was the kind of bullshit line people gave when they didn't know what else to say, but this was Fraser, and he never missed anything except when it came to himself, so Ray believed him. Fraser knelt down in front of him, tipped Ray's face up and kissed him. Slow, deliberate, his hands cupping Ray's jaw just like Ray liked. Ray locked both his hands around Fraser's wrists and kissed him back, feeling the jittering panic in his stomach gradually soothe and settle for the first time in hours.
He broke the kiss when Kowalski made a sound, looked up to see him leaning against the wall with a kind of hesitant want on his face. Ray's face, actually, and his stomach jumped again, but he felt Fraser's hands solid on him and he managed a grin somehow. "See something you like, Kowalski?"
Part I (I fail at snippets)
Ray leaned over, hands on his knees, let his head hang between his shoulders and tried to breathe. Only they weren't his hands, weren't his knees, and somewhere over to his left, where he definitely was not looking, he could hear Kowalski pacing, and that was fucking weird enough, hearing Kowalski's twitchy movements marked by Ray's own shoes, Ray's own feet. This was not right. He'd worked with Fraser for years and he'd seen compulsive liars and pissy Christmas elves and his own father's ghost, and Kowalski had told him about that funky voodoo thing, but this... he'd never seen anything like this.
"Fraser, you ever seen anything like this before?" Kowalski asked, only it was in Ray's voice, and God, if Ray didn't stop thinking about this, he was going to go insane.
"No, Ray," Fraser answered, sounding sort of calmly concerned, like this was any other problem he was going to solve with Inuit stories and sheer Mountie stubbornness. Which Ray normally kind of wanted to kick him for, because nothing fazed Fraser--not even, apparently, his partners somehow ending up in each other's bodies and not in the good way--but somebody had to be calm, Ray guessed, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be him or Kowalski, so.
"This is not good," Kowalski was saying, "this is not good. I mean, what the fuck? How the fuck does this happen?"
"Ray, please. I know how upsetting this must be for you, but I'm sure there's a solution somewhere, and we will find it. And in the meantime, just--"
"Just what? Calm down? Fraser, I am not in my own fucking body, and I would say that on the list of situations in which it is physically possible to calm down, that has got to be pretty fucking low!" The last word was punctuated by a thud as his fist hit the wall.
"Hey!" Ray's head snapped up. "That's my knuckles you're putting through the drywall, asshole."
"Sorry," Kowalski muttered, massaging his hand in a mix of post-punching-ache and caress, and Ray almost started laughing hysterically. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. This was going to drive him nuts, he knew it.
Fraser's hand came down on the back of his neck, thumb rubbing gently just underneath his ear, just like they both knew Kowalski liked. Ray could feel his muscles relaxing a little, and that was more strangeness, more dislocation, until Fraser said, "Ray," and he said it like he always said it, completely different than how he said Kowalski's name, and Ray took a deep breath and held on.
"I'm OK, Benny. I'm OK. It's just--" I can't not be me, can't look in the mirror and see someone else...
"I know," Fraser said, and it was the kind of bullshit line people gave when they didn't know what else to say, but this was Fraser, and he never missed anything except when it came to himself, so Ray believed him. Fraser knelt down in front of him, tipped Ray's face up and kissed him. Slow, deliberate, his hands cupping Ray's jaw just like Ray liked. Ray locked both his hands around Fraser's wrists and kissed him back, feeling the jittering panic in his stomach gradually soothe and settle for the first time in hours.
He broke the kiss when Kowalski made a sound, looked up to see him leaning against the wall with a kind of hesitant want on his face. Ray's face, actually, and his stomach jumped again, but he felt Fraser's hands solid on him and he managed a grin somehow. "See something you like, Kowalski?"